a gift from God..

Three years ago to the day I was laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a lovely Pitocin cocktail, watching college football, eating jalepeno potato chips and waiting for labor to start!

 The miracle of the day, 

Aaron was right next to me!

At the time of her birth, Aaron was still in the Navy, still stationed in Italy.

When I was 2-3 months pregnant with her I went to Italy to be with him and came back when i was about 7-8ish months. 

My biggest fear in coming back to the states is that Aaron wouldn't be able to be there for the birth.

With the military there are always unknowns and surprises.

They denied all of his requests for baby leave so we really thought he would miss it.

The ship was on schedule to come back stateside in November.

It seemed like everyday they had a new idea of how long they wanted to take and where they wanted to stay.

I even got an email one day saying they were thinking of changing the homeport to Guam or Hawaii.

I was a hysterical mess, but my wise Momma pulled me into her arms and we prayed.

She prayed with me everyday that Aaron would be home for the birth.

I knew the Lord works miracles, but when you are dealing with Navy, there aren't always miracles! 

Sadly, I was doubtful a miracle would happen.

The Navy finally approved leave, but it was weeks before my due date so there was still a good chance he would miss the birth!

I would never have gotten through those last couple months without my mom.

She came to every appointment with me.

Coached me through what birthing was like.

Helped me write a birthing plan.

Helped me figure out what to put in a hospital bag.

All that stuff that usually husbands help with.

Well, in a way my Momma was my husband for a while.

She gave me all the support and love I needed in the absence of my real husband.

For my 38 week appointment, Beth came with me because Mom was busy.

We had been monitoring the baby's growth since I got back from Italy and they had concern she wasn't growing.

If I remember right my placenta was even starting to separate from my uterine wall.

Anyway, at 38 weeks they thought she wasn't growing at all. 

They estimated her to be 3 to 4 pounds.

The midwife looked at the information and said, you need to be induced today!

I panicked.

Aaron flew in, in 1 day.

I begged her to let me wait until Aaron was in town.

She left the room to go discuss with all the doctors if that would be safe for the baby.

After what seemed like ages,

She said YES!

A miracle from the Lord!

Aaron flew in and ironically the hospital didn't have a bed for us so we had to wait a couple days to even get into the hospital.

We finally got in, went through with the induction, 

tried going natural but when I was getting contractions literately on top of each other I decided I needed the drugs!

The first one didn't work so I had to get a second one.

After the drugs, it was so peaceful!

We just sat there, still watching football, talking, laughing, not really realizing in a few moments our world was going to change drastically.

I calmly pushed her out and then watched as they whisked her away from me.

She was a healthy 5 and a half pounds!

We named her Brookelyn Grace.

Grace to remind us constantly of the grace the Lord has shown us over and over. 

He showed us grace by giving her to us!

She is spunky, sassy, creative, has a great imagination, stubborn, loves being a big sister, Daddy's girl, caring, bossy and independent. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't even imagine how she would change my life for the better.

We did not deserve such a beautiful gift, but the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, sent her to us.

The Lord knew she was just what I needed.

We treasure our little gift named Brookelyn, everyday!

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalms 100:5

the attack of the lazies

One of our favorite family hobbies is to eat out.

We love trying new foods and new places.

Last night we realized we eat out way too much.

I used to cook all the time.

Plan all my meals, prep stuff on the weekend so it would be easy throughout the week.

I even had us on a partly Vegetarian menu to save money so we could buy Organic meat.

And then I was attacked by the lazy monster.

When I am stressed this monster attacks in full force.

I have had a hard time getting used to watching a baby that isn't my own.

The Lord is softening my heart and helping me to love one her.

I have had a hard time getting used to having two kids.

There are days where I feel like super mom and then there are days I just can't figure out how to be a good mommy to them.

Overall, my stress in pretty much self induced because when I look at what stresses me out, I start to laugh.

The Lord is so good to our family.

So why am I still so lazy when I am stressed?

I put the cooking on hold. I put cleaning on hold. Laundry piles up until we have nothing to wear.

We eat out because it makes me happy.

Stress relief - no dishes, no planning, no touching raw meat (I HATE meat. it makes me gag)

But last night Aaron put his foot down and in a very nice and lovely way ordered me back to the kitchen.

So.

Here I sit blogging instead of planning whats for dinner.

AHHHH!!!!!

Go away bad monster Go!

As I am writing this blog, I just remembered what I read in 2 Chronicles 20 the other day.

Some background- the Israelites are facing a massive enemy army.

"For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
  All the men of Judah, with their wives and children and little ones, stood there before the LORD.

This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.


Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "



The story goes on with the children of Israel Praising God in the midst of their scary situation. 
Praising Him THROUGH the hard time.
Not just at the end.
I love the Lord's words to go out and face the battle because He is with us!
You could put your struggles, stress, hurts, fears, sickness in this story in place of the battle.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12

With the Lord on my side, I am going to face this monster of laziness and be triumphant!

"Give thanks to the Lord for his Love endures forever"

Go check out 2 Chronicles 20!

Never say Never....

Did you ever grow up promising yourself you were never going to be like your mother?

I did.

I had very specific ways I was never going to be like her.

Most are because I am alot more lazy than my mom is. 

For example,

I HATED rolling up the vacuum cord. It didn't make sense to me. Why go to all that work to wind it up if you are just going to unwind it the next day?

Funny thing is, Aaron had the same opinion. 

So for the first many years of our living in a house together, the cord was never wound up. It always looked messy, sloppy and in the way.

That vacuum blew up so we went in search of a new one.

I found the miracle vacuum.

#1 it was green!!!

#2 it has a button to wind up the cord BY IT SELF!!!!

Mom never bought "good" food. I promised myself my cupboards would be full of "good" food.

I remember the first time Aaron and I went grocery shopping together.

I think all we came out of the grocery store with was, pop tarts, sugar (all the really good kinds that mom never bought us. She was awesome at making us eat healthy) cereals, fruit roll-ups, candy, chips, soda and every other kind of "good" food you can imagine.

Eventually we have had to limit how much of that good stuff we buy.

But we still make sure we have a little supply of "good" food.

One thing you will always find in our cupboard,

a nice big box of sugar cereal.

Mom loves to organize.

Our dressers and closets were always perfectly in order. 

I HATED folding clothes.

Never really had a good reason. 

I just really do not like it!

My drawers were always a mess. Such a mess that sometimes you couldn't open them.

Mom would send me in to organize it.

Of course I was naughty and wouldn't do it so she would come in, take the drawer and dump it all on the floor.

I would begrudgingly organize my drawer grumbling the whole time. 

When it was done I wouldn't want her to see my satisfactory look because I really love an organized drawer.

Everything so neat and tidy. You know exactly where everything is.

Here is a picture of my kids drawers and you will see if I take after my mother.

Some traits I picked up from my mom that I like....

I remember Mom spending many a hours sorting our toys. 

But I loved it because when I wanted to play Barbies it was all there! 

She had a rule, no toys in the living room.

I never understood the rule until I became a mom who lets her kids drag out every toy.

When an unexpected guest drops by your house looks horrible!

Strangely enough, I love organizing the kid's toys.

Every night I make sure they are all sorted and we have all the pieces.

I love the feeling of going to bed with a clean room.

Brooke does too because every time I clean she gives me a great big hug and says, 

"thank you so much Mommy for cleanin my woom!"

When Mom cleaned the kitchen,

She CLEANED the kitchen.

Every nook, cranny, crack, spot, surface, hole, under, above, in & out.

It never really bothered me. 

I just didn't get it.

Until I had my own house to take care of.

When those little details are overlooked your house looks disgusting!

Our fridge was making an awful noise a while back.

So my Mom instincts took in and I pulled out the fridge, got out the vacuum and began cleaning. 

Aaron thought I was nuts but I got the noise to stop!

I remember feeling very triumphant and proud of my Mom for teaching me something that seems so insignificant.  

I may have a messy house, but my house is always clean, just like my Momma taught me.

The other day Bubba had gotten into the garbage can and got icky stuff all over the floor. 

I got so angry and started going on and on about the disgusting mess.

Aaron looked at me and started laughing.

of course that made me more angry and I asked him what was so funny.

His reply,

"Ok Mindy"

What?!!!

"I just got his flashback to when you were little, and I bet your mom freaked out at mess just like you are doing!"

yes.

I hate mess.

Mom Hates mess.

If we had a log of everytime my mom or I have said that.. 

It would make the Guiness Book of World Records. 

Mess on top of a stressful day/bad hormones/lack of coffee or chocolate 

makes for one very crabby mom.

Clean brings a happy peace. 

Maybe if I wasn't so lazy I would have more peace in my house...

Even though I have several things that I do differently from my Mom, 

I realized one day, I am still exactly like her,

but in my own way.

By watching her I learned how to take care of a house. Take care of myself. Take care of my children.

I inherited her good traits and some of her bad traits.

I gained my own ideas and opinions that when molded with what I gained from my mom,

 has brought me to the person I am today.

I wonder sometimes if the Lord gave me her bad traits so when I am really struggling, I can go to her and get help and guidance? 

Makes me smile that the Lord even considers that little detail important. 

Makes me feel even more loved that the Lord gave me an example to watch, follow, or not follow, model and learn from.

Thank you Lord for my mother and making me just like her :)

Just had to throw in a cute picture of the kids.
Oh, and I guess it shows one more difference..
I am feeding my kids hot dogs!
Ok, usually I am just like my mom and don't buy them.
But this was a desperate attempt to get them dinner before breakdowns happened!

So another big event that happened this summer was the weaning of Brayden. 

I think this story though needs some background so rewind a couple years to when I was pregnant with Brooke.

In preparing for her birth one of the first things you have to discuss is to breastfeed or to bottle feed. As soon as we asked the question,  we wrinkled our noses, said, "Disgusting!" and vetoed that idea. I knew breast milk was the best thing for her but the idea of it really grossed me out. 

Aaron was even more grossed out! Poor thing. 

Well Brooke was born and I tried feeding her.

She rejected me instantly.

We found out later she was tongue tied.

I tried and tried to get her to breast feed because she was only 5lbs and I knew my milk was the best thing for her. 

I ended up pumping for her as long as I could but then had to switch over to full formula.

I was really sad to quit,  but I didn't have alot of breastfeeding support for a tongue tied newborn. My mom, who knows everything about it, was also stumped because of the tongue. I was so stressed and alone since Aaron was back in Italy and Brooke cried and cried and cried. 

Feedinsg were a nightmare because I had to pump and then feed her. 

My best friend Bre came to stay with me for two weeks. I wouldn't have made it through those weeks without her! She sat up with me while Brooke screamed waiting for that bottle. I think I scared her out of having kids ;) My sisters and mom would also take the baby trying to give me a break.

(Can I just say I wish I could live at home for the first weeks every time I have a baby??!! Nothing better than having your Mommy take care of you!)

The bottle and formula brought relief and peace.

No more screaming Brooke and crying Jana.

Fast forward to a big fat pregnant Jana.

No, I am not posting a picture of that pregnant belly! Lets just say after I had Brayden I had 40 personal pounds to loose. Too many Mcgriddles and pizza ;)

I watched the movie the Business of Being Born.

COMPLETELY changed my view on babies

Right there I decided that Brayden was going to be completely different.

I was going all natural

(Brooke was induced, I had two epidurals because the first one didn't work, she slept for days after birth and it took awhile for me to recover)

And I knew I wanted to breastfeed him.

Surprisingly, when I talked to Aaron, He was on board!

He wasn't grossed out. If he was he hid it and supported me.

The Lord allowed me to deliver Brayden naturally. Almost on the I405 bridge, but naturally!

I held him as soon as he came out and my heart melted.

I held him up to eat and the little guy latched on instantly!

In that moment a special bond was formed.

I was thrilled that he actually wanted me!

Until the pain associated with breastfeeding started coming.

Then I wanted a bottle so bad! But I wiped the tears and persevered. 

side note- No one told me that breast feeding hurts almost as bad as a natural delivery! I was sure once I delivered the pain was gone. WRONG!!! hello 3 weeks of MORE pain!!! 

The pain finally went away, my milk came in regularly and nursing was a natural part of my day.

I thought I would only nurse til he was 6 months old. Well that came and went..

He was over a year when I finally started the process!

My heart was starting to break and panic took over.

Every feeding that I cut out I felt emotionally something was being cut off.

I felt if I stopped nursing I would loose that bond.

A bond I longed for with Brookelyn.

I still long for that. She is very independent and not cuddly.

The thought of loosing that special time with Brayden scared me.

I also started panicking about his health and all the allergies he could have by switching to cows milk.

I probably called my mom everyday crying.

She coached me through it step by step.

My arms felt empty as I watched Brayden run away not needing me.

I started getting baby fever.

I cried out to the Lord everyday to help me release the anxiety and just let Bubba go!

And then the peace came.

Brayden was just fine without my milk.

He didn't have any allergic reactions to cow's milk.

He STILL cuddled me.

He will still grab his blankie and bear and crawl into my lap.

The biggest benefit that the Lord opened my eyes to..

Aaron gets a chance to cuddle the baby!

I was so blind to my feelings that I didn't see Aaron's.

He told me he was glad I was done  because now Brayden wanted to cuddle him,

Brayden never cuddled with Daddy.

And it is the sweetest thing to see those two cuddling. 

I still get twinges that I wish I could just feed him.

But I think I will get those feeling the rest of my life.

I fell in love with breastfeeding and the bond it helped me form with my child.

I giggle when I think about how it used to gross me out. 

I thank the Lord for allowing me a second chance with Bubbs.

Brooke was a blessing and the Lord orchestrated every detail, but with Brayden, it was like a second chance to do things the right way. 

Tuesday is my Monday...

Part of the reason I haven't blogged is as soon as I click the button, "New Post",  instantly I get overwhelmed with all that I want to write about.  Or a child starts screaming the instant they hear that click. Or a hubby kindly reminds me it is way past dinner time and there are hungry tummy's to feed. Or the buzzer goes off in the laundry room. I think you get the idea.

So. I finally have a quiet minute to myself to force out a blog!

Excuse me one second while I answer my beeping phone...

Today I am feeling the Monday blues.

A couple months ago I started watching a little baby girl.

Having my own children has really ruined my Nanny instincts. I love babies but I sure love my babies more! When they are all crying I want to hold my kids but have to hold the new baby. It has been a huge adjustment and many days I just sit and cry. You don't realize how 'easy' being a Mom to your own children is until you have someone else's child in your home to worry about. I know every peep,whimper, cry, laugh, giggle, moan, groan, grunt and whine and exactly what it means. I know when they eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, need attention or just are bored

With this little baby girl I am don't know anything because I am not her Mommy!

The poor little thing is very needy. She isn't on a schedule and has some eating trouble. She cries alot.

 But. I prayed for the Lord to bring a family to our house and He brought me this little doll. 

She needs my care, love and attention.

But I am worn out!

 I don't hate watching her. I actually really enjoy it oddly enough. 

It is just really hard to take care of a baby that isn't yours.

Watching her has made me appreciate my kids so much more! I crave alone time with them. We go to their room and just spend time together! I try to play with Brookelyn for as long as I can (I have a HORRIBLE attention span for playing with children) and carry around Bubba as much as my arms will let me. 

Mornings have strangely become my favorite part of the day.

Brooke wakes up and comes running in, "Time to get up Mommy!"

From my room I can hear Bubba shaking his crib and grunting "Ou!"

It is so peaceful. No crabbies have started. No one is stressed out yet. No one is throwing tantrums. 

Like I said, Peace.

Until about 8:30.

Then it is pure chaos until the little baby girl leaves.

5:45 is my favorite time of day because her Mommy comes to get her.

The door closes, I turn around, look at my house that is a complete and utter disaster, and just smile.

We moved the kid's betime up an hour so we could have more of a break in the evening. It has worked out really well! 7:00 is my second favorite time of day.

I used to get really bored being a stay at home Mommy.

Now I CAN"T WAIT for the day I don't have to work and can be a "lazy" stay at home Mommy!

I am so thankful for this opportunity though because I can support our family without leaving the kids.

I only watch her 3 days a week.. Tuesday-Wed-Thursday

So that is why my Tuesdays are my Mondays.

I am trying to recall back to early summer to big events that might have happened..

Ah yes.. We got a puppy!

Aaron and I have both wanted a dog since we were little kids. We really wanted one that could grow up with our kids but didn't have the means for a long time. 

An amazing deal came up for these adorable rottweiler/pittbull puppies and Aaron was instantly smitten! Rottweiler has been his dog of choice for a Looooong time.

We picked her up and took her home with us.

Both kids were thrilled!

I was a little nervous because to me raising a dog and child are very similar.

But Aaron did his research, started training right away and made those first couple weeks with a new puppy a piece of cake!

I remember the first night in her kennel she was crying and of course my motherly instinct kicked in so I started worrying about her. 

But we knew we couldn't take her out of her kennel because she had to learn to sleep there.

Her poor sad baby cries were too much for me!

I went in the kids room to look for something. I didn't know what yet. 

And then I got this spark of an idea to grab a big stuffed animal. 

I put it in the kennel and instantly she cuddled up to it and went to sleep!

One of my favorite memories :)

We named her Bella.

It means beautiful in Italian.

I wanted to name Brooke that because we spent most of Brooke's pregnancy in Italy but Aaron didn't like it.

As soon as I held the little puppy I knew the name would fit perfectly.

She is beautiful! God's creation is amazing.

First day home.

She is MUCH bigger now but I don't have the pictures on this computer. I think Aaron said she is already half her size. She is the best doggy. Still very hyper. Her middle name is Jon. If you know my brother Jon you will understand why we named her that ;) 

She loves the kids and is so gentle with them.

Of course we think she is the Smartest, Most beautiful, loving loyal dog.

But hey, I also think that my children are the BEST children in the whole world.

Biased?

Nope. 

I'm their Mommy!

Ok a baby is screaming so I must end..

Hope your Tuesday is filled with the joy of the Lord!

Hello Again!

I have been taking a hiatus due to the lovely season called summer. I will be adding new blogs hopefully soon but until I do, please let me have a few minutes of your time!

  I have this dear friend named Angie.

Angie lives in Minnesota.

What good could possibly come from Minnesota??

Joe Mauer.

For those of you that might not know who he is.. He is the pitcher of the MN baseball team.

Angie is going to marry Joe Mauer someday.

He has yet to find out. So, to help her chances of  breaking the news to him,

She needs to get as close as possible to him.

And how would that be possible?

Throwing a First Pitch to him that's how.

SO

PRETTY 

PLEASE

  GO HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

I am assuming you clicked and voted.

and  now you are backing here reading.

THANK YOU!!! :)

You made me  grateful and a very hopeful Angie!

I will keep you all updated....

a moment to brag..

I think my hubby is the greatest at alot of things. I know thats completely biased but I adore him so I am entitled to that bias. 

Aaron loves electronics and technology. And saying he loves it is a huge understatement. I learned very early to just let him do his thing and hold in my opinions. Usually I end up agreeing that bigger is better and enjoy his electronic purchases. He never buys something without doing extensive research to make sure he is getting the best deal for his money. 

A man after my own heart! I am the bargain queen!

Well Aaron got an itch.

Itches occur on a daily basis and usually he doesn't scratch them. Some itches never go away until he 'scratches'.

This particular itch happened to be a new camera. 

Usually he has to pitch his itches and convince me why he should scratch it.

The camera got me at first sight!

The thought of capturing beautiful photos of my children without having to go to a studio made me weak in the knees, so to say.

When we got the camera I tried learning how to use it. Its fairly simple and very easy at capturing the moments I want to capture. 

But when Aaron picked up that camera...

WOW

He amazed me at what he could capture and then with just a few clicks of a mouse, edit that photo into a piece of art. 

Again, I know I am bias but you mom's all know what its like to look at photos of your darling children. All you do is sigh and proclaim they are the most beautiful children in the world!

The more photos Aaron took the more he realized how much he loved it.  Ideas just kept pouring out of his mouth and his pictures were proof. 

He decided to try some free lance to make some money through college. 

He already has 2 for sure photo shoots booked with more possible requests.

I am so proud of him.

Check out his temporary site..

Roli Photography

Our good friend is working on the real web site and I will share that when its done!